Nursery Rhymes
by Brynn MacKenzie
Summary: "Fatherhood looks well on you, James Diamond." -AU because of age differences-
1. Acceptance

**Acceptance**

Katie sat on the tour bus wringing her hands. She'd been dating James for several months now, having turned eighteen a year ago. Her mother was highly receptive of the relationship, but Kendall was still on the fence. James was on stage with the gang, they were on their last costume change for _Elevate_, and she was starting to feel really nervous about all of this. She looked back at her mother, brown eyes catching with blue. She didn't know what to say. "You're not mad?"

"Katie, you're the most responsible woman I know. I wouldn't be mad at you. You took precaution; it's not your fault." Mama Knight explained quietly as they both looked down at the long white stick sitting on a napkin on the table. She looked away for a moment before sighing softly, almost whimsically. "A baby. I can't wait."

"I can." Katie slowly replied. "Trust me. This was not in the cards for me."

"Katie, I'll be honest, your brother wasn't exactly in the plan for me either, but when I held him, my whole world changed. I knew there was no way I'd ever let him down. No woman, sans Jo, will ever be good enough for him." She answered with a tiny semblance of a smile. "How are you going to tell James if it's positive?"

Katie hadn't thought of that. Truth be told, she had considered just getting an abortion. A child wasn't her idea of her life from now on. She'd always despised those shows about teenage mothers, and assumed she'd be a lot more responsible than that, but fate had a way of cursing her for that. James was just so irresistible, and she was just so happy he'd let her…

The brunette started thinking about the night it happened. They were filming the video for _Windows Down_ when they told Katie to come jump in the waterfall with them. She laughed and said it would be awkward to swim in her two piece bathing suit because she wasn't totally comfortable with her body yet. She had decided later to go with James, after the other boys went to bed. It was a night-long tryst in the moonlight, his sparkling brown eyes captivating her. James grabbed her by the arm and kissed her hungrily on the lips, his hands wandering to places they really shouldn't have been…

"Hello? Earth to Katie?" Jennifer sang. "Honey?"

"It was magical, mom," She whispered through tears. "I can't believe I got pregnant my first time having sex."

Jennifer reached a hand out to touch her daughters'. "Katie, something good will come of this. You and your brother are here, and your father really didn't want you guys." Jennifer sighed and realized she'd never told her children that story. "I know, you hate when I talk about your father, and I know you hate when I mention he abandon us, but the truth is that he wanted me to put you and your brother up for adoption and I couldn't do it. My heart wouldn't let me."

"I can get an abortion, James doesn't have to know," Katie conceded. "Mom, I'm not ready."

"Nobody is ready to have a baby," Jennifer answered with a reassuring smile and a pat on her daughter's hand. "You'll learn as you go. Life is about mistakes. And you can't just get an abortion; what if this is what James wants? What if he wants to be a father and you're taking away that dream? Katie, you'll feel guilty about it, at least talk to him."

"What if he doesn't want the baby and breaks up with me, mom?" Katie whimpered. She was greedy about one thing and one thing only. She didn't want to lose James.

"I raised my boys better than that, thank you very much," Mama Knight replied, looking down at the wand as it slowly started to change colors.

Katie's fear and anticipation grew as she stared down with her mother. It was suddenly becoming more real for the teenager. Her heart began to pound in her chest. "Mom, what does a double pink line mean?"

Jennifer took the test into her hand and waited for it to finish changing. "The blue line is the control line," She explained. "That's how you know the test is working. A single pink line is not pregnant…"

Katie's hand shot to her mouth, she covered it as if she was going to be sick, her other hand shot to her stomach. "Mom, this can't be happening, I can't be a mother! I'll take another test, maybe this one was wrong. They're 1% ineffective, right?"

"So are condoms and birth control, Katie. You just happened to fall into that 1%," Jennifer casually answered wrapping the test up in plastic and putting it in her purse to throw away at a later time. It wasn't that she wanted to keep it, but since Katie didn't want to tell the boys, she figured she'd save her the trouble of hiding it.

"Well if I fell into the 1% of ineffective condoms and birth control, maybe I fall into the same percentage for the pregnancy tests!" She screamed, maybe a bit too loud. "Mom, please tell me this is all a dream."

"It's not a dream, Katie. You might want to decide how you're going to tell James." She turned to look out the window when she heard the boys' high fiving each other and laughing at Carlos' lame jokes. Katie turned pale and ran to the bathroom. "What should I tell them?"

"Tell them I have food poisoning!" She screamed through the closed door.

Kendall and Logan climbed up the steps, hugging their mother tightly. Kendall started laughing about something before it dawned on him that Katie was missing from the group. "Where'd Katie go?"

Jennifer sighed and leaned back in the bench by the table. "She's sick right now, something about bad sushi."

"I _knew _we shouldn't have had sushi last night!" Carlos shrieked in disbelief. "Is she going to be okay?"

"Nothing a few days can't fix," She off-handedly replied, wondering if he daughter would go through with an abortion. She didn't feel like Katie would, but she also didn't feel she'd be pregnant at eighteen. "What's James doing?"

"Signing autographs, we have to go out, too." Logan explained. "We're just getting some water and changing quickly. Wish Katie could come out with us; I know she loves meeting fans."

Kendall gave a sideways look at the door to the bathroom where he could hear his sister retching. "Mom, she doesn't sound okay, maybe we should cancel the next stop and take her to the hospital."

Jennifer shook her head. "If it comes down to it, I'll break away from you guys and get her looked at. She'll be fine, though. I've been through this a few times, so I know what it's like." She hoped no one caught on to that sideways reference. "Go out and do your autographs, I'll send Katie out when she feels better."

The trio nodded before quickly changing and running out the door. When she was sure they were out of earshot, she tapped on the bathroom door. "Baby, can I come in?"

Katie weakly reached for the door handle and unlocked it. Jennifer knelt beside her daughter and pulled her hair back, sighing as she rubbed her back. Katie spasmed several times before crying. She didn't want to do this just yet, she wasn't ready. "Mom," The girl cried to no one in particular. "I can't do this."

Jennifer rubbed her back gently and closed her eyes, gently tugging her hair and putting it up into a ponytail. Katie always kept her hair down, but she needed it out of the way. James liked it long, so she always kept it long. "I know, baby."

"I can't tell him," She whimpered, defeated. "He'll hate me."

"No he won't," Jennifer smiled and leaned in to pull her bangs back. "I know my boys, and I know he would never hate you for this. I'm sure he'd want to be part of his baby's life."

"I'm not so sure." Katie whispered.

"Listen, sleep on it and talk to him tomorrow. They have a break from tour; you can get away with him and spend some time alone."

"That's what got us into this mess!" Katie cried. "When will the morning sickness stop? Maybe I can hold off a few months."

"Be careful, Katie. Once you hit four months, you can't get an abortion anymore. You're small, you'll start showing soon…and the morning sickness may never stop. I had it until a few weeks before you were born." She sighed and kissed the top of her daughter's head. "Just stay calm. Things will get better."

Somehow, Katie wasn't so sure about that.

* * *

James sat down on the bus with a notebook intending to write a song while the other guys were out at the mall enjoying their break from the tour. He opened the notebook to the page where he wrote out what happened between he and Katie in great detail, explaining that he'd never regret that kiss. Even though she wasn't ready, he'd never go back on the way he felt about that moment. He stared at the blank paper when he heard the screen door open. Looking up, brown eyes clashed with brown. "Katie, I was just…"

"We need to talk," She quietly whispered. "It's really important. I'm sorry, your song can wait."

He looked down at the notebook, closing it casually. His smile never faltered. He watched Katie sit across from him, doing that nervous habit where she'd stare at her fingers and twitch her hands a lot. He knew something was wrong when she didn't speak for a long time. "Are you feeling any better?" He inquired, remembering she was sick the night before.

"No," Which was when she was glad they got drunk the night prior, so they were all out pretty cold when she got sick again that morning at the hotel room. "But it will pass, I'm sure."

James folded his arms and leaned back, studying her posture. Something was very wrong. She wasn't smiling, or planning something evil. He could see the gears turning, but not the way they usually did. She was depressed. A sudden wave of guilt washed over him. "I know, I was the one who talked Carlos into going for sushi, it's my fault you're sick."

Katie laughed for the first time since she found out. "Oh, it's your fault, but not in the way you think." She bit her lip rather hard before continuing to speak. Cutting him off before he could ask her his next question, she sighed. "James I'm-"

"Katie, will-"

They both spoke at the same time and stopped at the same time. She looked at James for a long time; he looked back with a dark expression.

He knew what followed those words. "You're breaking up with me? I was going to ask you to marry me and you're breaking up with me?"

"_Marry you_?" Katie shouted in disbelief. "No! We haven't been dating more than six months!"

"But we've known each other since childhood, and that's fine with me. Please say yes." James begged. "I need you in my life."

"Please hear what I have to say first, before you decide that," Katie quietly continued, pushing all the doubt and excitement to the back of her mind. Taking a deep breath, she looked out the window. Her voice was soft. "James, I'm pregnant."

He sat in silence, his mind reeling with possibilities. Katie was so young, he'd ruined her life. He didn't realize it when he'd proposed; he didn't know she was pregnant. He wanted to believe they'd have kids eventually, but now was just too soon. He closed his eyes and rested the back of his head against the top of the bench. The wood was cool and welcoming.

They sat in a stunned silence for five minutes before she spoke up again.

"Are you going to say something?"

His brown eyes suddenly opened, she could see the fear that crossed his features. He tensed up significantly before biting down on his lip. She could tell he was trying not to say something that would upset her. "So, what do we do from here? Do you want to keep the baby?"

Katie looked away, her eyes staring at some unknown spot on the window sill. "I…was thinking of getting an abortion. We'd never have to talk about this again. I would go to the clinic, and everything would be okay."

His eyes widened and he reached across the table to grab her hand. "Don't."

"What?" Katie asked in surprise. "You want the baby?"

"Of course," He murmured softly, rubbing the back of her hand in a comforting manner. "Katie, I love you, this doesn't change my opinion of you. I don't want you to be Sarah."

Katie didn't need to be reminded of the girlfriend two years prior who had an abortion and didn't tell him until after they broke up. She knew he was serious when he started to laugh quietly. "What are you laughing at?"

"I was just thinking of how I'm going to tell your brother. He seems to hate that we're together." James started to laugh a little more and Katie began to wonder if he went off the deep end of a shallow pool. Katie gave him a quizzical look. "Can we name the baby Bridget?"

"No," Katie mumbled softly, looking him in the eyes. "I don't even know if I want to keep it."

James tensed up, his hand squeezed hers slightly. "Katie, please, I don't want to lose another child. If you don't want the baby, fine, put her up for adoption, but don't kill her. At least if you put her up for adoption, I'll know she's okay."

She noticed his whole body tense as he spoke; his words were spoken through a clenched jaw. He was trying really hard not to break things. Katie knew when his temper was out of control, people got hurt. And apparently wanting to preserve her lifestyle was something that made him angry. She respected him for controlling his anger with her, but she wasn't so sure how to feel about the baby. "She?"

"Of course," He whispered softly, almost romantically as he reached his free hand across to brush her hair behind her ears gently. He cupped her cheek lovingly. "I want a baby that looks like her mommy."

Katie began to cry, trying desperately to fight off the tears. She knew she couldn't hold back much longer. She let go of him and began to softly whimper. He moved around to sit beside her and take her into his arms. Her whole body trembled, even as she moved her cheek into his shoulder. "Why are you so understanding about this?"

"Because mistakes happen, and I'm glad it was with you. I love you, I want to marry you, and I want to have a family with you. Having this happen right now, at this moment…I couldn't feel more blessed. Katie, please, marry me and do the right thing. We'll be a family, you can tour with us, and you can raise Bridget to be a singer. You can't honestly assume that with two musically gifted parents, she wouldn't be an amazing singer – maybe even better than Christina Aguilera!"

"I wouldn't go that far," Katie commented, pulling away to look up at him. "You're sure about this?"

He nodded and brushed her hair back, kissing her cheek. "I'm sure. I'm more than sure. I know without any doubt in my mind that this is what I want. But you need to promise me you won't kill the baby. Please, Katie." There was a hint of sadness to his voice when it cracked. He was trying not to cry. "Let this one have a fighting chance."

"Okay," She whispered. "But only if you stop comparing me to your ex. I'm not a baby killer."

He nodded and held her close, wrapping his arms tightly around her slender frame. He buried his head against her neck, tears finally slipping free. He wasn't usually one to cry, but his happiness was off the charts at the moment. He not only got the love of his life, but he got to have a baby with her, too! What more could a man ask for? He knew he was going to be there for her, every single step of the way; from the first appointment to the delivery. He wouldn't have it any other way.

"How are we going to tell the gang?" Katie mumbled into his chest.

James smiled and kissed the top of her head. "Don't you worry your pretty little mind about it; I'll take care of it."

* * *

James decided the best way to deal with Kendall would be by themselves. He knew that Kendall wasn't going to take the news well, but he also knew Kendall was okay with them getting married. He wasn't sure how Kendall was going to react to the idea of being an uncle, but it was time to find out. Jennifer had explained it as hit or miss; throw the chips down and let it ride. Whatever happens will happen.

He leaned against the wall and waited for Kendall to come out of the hotel room. The blonde stared at the slightly red headed man across the hall from him. "You said you needed to talk to me."

James nodded absently. "Katie said yes."

"That's great," Kendall answered with a slight hint of happiness.

James nodded. "She's also pregnant."

Kendall's voice dropped lower. "That's not great."

"I plan on marrying her anyway," James replied, his voice also low. He knew that Kendall was looking for a fight. The age difference was Kendall's main concern, but she was eighteen and in love, and he was doing the right thing. "I'm not going to give up on my child."

"You're my best friend," Kendall began, "But there's some things I just can't agree with."

James was backed into a corner, he knew Kendall had his hackles up, and he was itching to hit him. Kendall was so protective of Katie that James was sure he was going to die that night before ever meeting his daughter. He looked away, bracing for the hit that was sure to come. Kendall raised his fist and pounded it into the wall beside James' head. "You missed," James sarcastically replied to no one in particular, one eye open to observe Kendall's moves.

"Katie would kill me if I hurt you," Kendall growled. "And it's not worth it because she can't be alone in this. I swear to God, if you abandon her, if you hurt her, if you so much as cause her to cry, you're a dead man, James Diamond. I don't care how long we've known each other."

James nodded and looked down at his bare feet. "Thank you for sparing my life."

"Thanks for ruining my sisters'." Kendall replied bitterly.

Katie stood in the doorway to her room, watching the scene play out like something from a horror movie. She took one single step forward and looked at her brother, stepping between them as Kendall raised his fist again. "Stop, you made your point."

Kendall stared at his sister. She was pale, her hair was messy, and her eyes were puffy from crying. He couldn't help but feel a hint of sadness for her. Her life was over, and James was still free to do whatever the hell he wanted. It irritated Kendall to no end. "Katie, are you okay? Has he hurt you?"

"No, he hasn't hurt me. He's been understanding and comprehensive the entire time. I wanted to get an abortion and he asked me not to." Katie answered with words that were merely above a whisper. There were cracks at random where she fought tears, but her smile was present the whole time. "He proposed before I told him I was pregnant. He wanted to marry me, even though I was. Big Brother, he's doing the right thing."

"I know," Kendall answered, looking to his best friend, whom was still trying to hide. "But, damnit, Baby Sister, why did you have to ruin your life?"

"I wouldn't consider it ruining my life," She smiled and rubbed her tummy slightly. "I consider it getting a head start on what I've always wanted to do. It's not like I'm dropping out of school or anything, I'm still gonna go. It's my senior year."

"But, the age…" Kendall began to protest.

"…is just a number," Katie replied, looking over her shoulder at James. He was wearing a small smile; she felt it was his best accessory. "Kendall, it's going to be okay. Mom is going to be there the entire time, and you can bet I won't let him get away with hurting me. It was my idea to sleep with him; it was my idea to do it. We were fully protected the whole time – it just so happens that I fall into the 1 percent that isn't effective. It wasn't his fault."

Kendall calmed significantly. "If you're sure you can do this…who am I to argue?"

"I'm sure you've got my back, right Big Brother?"

"Of course, Little Sister." He smiled and hugged her tight, then froze. "I'm not hurting the baby, am I?"

"I'm sure it's fine," Katie laughed and pushed him away. "When are you and Jo gonna tie the knot?"

"Hopefully before you do," He answered, looking to James again. "No hard feelings?"

"I'm glad Katie is good at negotiating; I almost died here tonight." He smirked. "No hard feelings."

"Good," Kendall started, raising a finger at him accusingly. "Because if you hurt her, I swear to God, I will reduce you to a puddle of blood on the ground and feed your bones to Gustavo's dog."

James gave a thumb up. "Got it."

Katie smiled and stared at the two boys, eyes wide. "How are we telling the rest of the group?"

"Don't worry," Kendall explained. "I got this covered."

* * *

The next day, at the concert, Katie stood behind the curtain and smiled, watching James perform. Living on the road with him and a baby would be difficult, but she wanted to do it for him. Her dream was to be his manager, there's no reason she couldn't do that from the road. Raising a baby on a tour bus and hotels might be difficult, but if anyone could find a way, she could.

Kendall looked out into the crowd between songs, smiling brightly. "I have some amazing news for all you BTR fans out there, not so amazing news for the fans of our friend here, James."

James gave a shy wave to the crowd. "Hi, uh, yeah."

"We found out last night that James Diamond is officially off the market, sorry girls." There was a wave of "awww" and defeatist remarks from the audience, but it didn't deter Kendall's good mood. "James, you want to tell them the rest of your amazing news?"

Logan and Carlos turned to stare at their band mate, wondering what the news could possibly be.

"I, uh," He blushed bright red and looked to Katie. She gave him a small smile and held her hand to her stomach, which in some convoluted way gave him the confidence to continue. "I'm gonna be a daddy."

The crowd went silent before erupting into applause. There were jeers, cheers, whistles, and even a few sad remarks. But he felt like he was invincible when he said the words. He stared at Katie lovingly. For some reason, his world felt complete.

* * *

This is going to be an A-Z of Katie's pregnancy. Every author has their obsession, this just happens to be mine. I can't write a story without pregnancy because I love family stuff. I think Katie and James make the perfect family. =) I hope you enjoy this chapter. Read and review. ^_^


	2. Breathe

**Breathe**

James knew that the decision was ultimately Katie's. It had been a week since the conversation on the bus, and things had gotten really tense between them. He was concerned that she wouldn't want him to be there. The brunette boy shook his head and changed into his costume anyway, looking back to see if Katie was there. She wasn't. She had left with her mother the night before, saying she wanted to go home.

He knew what that meant.

Plastering a fake smile to his face as he stepped out of the dressing room, he looked down when the reporters bombarded him for questions.

_Who is she?  
Do you love her?  
Is she a singer?  
How did you meet?  
How far along is she?  
Are you only getting married because she's pregnant?_

He didn't want to answer the questions. The boy was thankful that Logan intervened and told him the show was about to start and they had to go out for their last act. He looked away for a moment before brushing his hair from his eyes and climbing onto the stage. It was the first time he'd noticed the set list.

_I bet you didn't notice  
First time your heart was broken  
You called me up and  
We talked till the morning  
The time that you were stranded  
I was there before you landed  
He was a no-show  
I made sure you got home_

Katie pushed her hair back and sat on the chair in the waiting room, watching women filter in and out. Some where there laughing, some where there with boyfriends, some were just paging through magazines like she was doing right now. Either way, she was sure this was going to end badly.

Her phone rang but she didn't answer it. She let it go straight to voice mail and went back to reading the magazine.

_I've been right there  
For every minute  
And this time  
Is no different  
What ever happens you should know_

James froze on the stage holding the microphone. He had to perform, it was a concert and his part was key to the song. He didn't know what to do. His body began to move, but his brain shut down. What were his words?

He heard Gustavo shouting in his earpiece about doing the damn show and worrying about Katie later. He wanted to worry about Katie later, but his head wouldn't let him. Biting his lip, he took a deep breath and closed his eyes for a moment. His voice was soft as he began to sing, as if singing to his child.

_You're not alone girl  
Look over your shoulder  
You don't have to wonder  
You know, you know, you know  
You're not alone Girl  
I'll be there to hold you  
I'll stay till it's over  
And you know, you know, you know  
You're not alone_

_All the days that you were stressed out  
Feeling like pulling your hair out  
They were all missing  
But I was here listening, yeah  
You gotta believe in me  
Even if you can't see me there  
I'll catch you when you fall_

Suddenly Katie felt more scared of her decision. She climbed up onto the table, her heartbeat a million miles an hour. She was waiting for the nurse to come back, but for some reason, she wasn't sure the nurse would be back. The equipment that surrounded her was terrifying. It smelled of metal in the room. Diagrams filled the walls, and she suddenly felt closed in.

_Cause I've been right there  
For every minute  
And this time  
Is no different  
Whatever happens  
You should know_

_You're not alone girl  
Look over your shoulder  
You don't have to wonder  
You know, you know, you know  
You're not alone Girl  
I'll be there to hold you  
I'll stay till it's over  
And you know, you know, you know  
You're not alone_

James began to tremble again. He wanted Katie there; he needed reassurance that she was okay. Jennifer said she had an appointment today, and that's why she had to go home. Suddenly his mind began to run through all the _appointments _that Sarah had. His heart began to beat faster, his breathing a little shorter. Logan pulled him aside during a small break where Kendall sang and began asking if he was okay.

James would nod and say he was fine, but deep down, he wasn't so sure. "I need to hear her," James whispered quietly. "I need to hear Katie's voice and know she's okay. I'm worried. Her mom said she had a really important appointment today, I fear something may be wrong with her or the baby."

"James," Logan spoke fast but efficiently. "Maybe we should get you off stage. You're looking really pale."

For the first time since kindergarten, James began to whimper softly. "I want to go home."

_I'll be here for you no matter what  
Comes around the corner  
As long as I am breathing  
You won't have to worry no more_

Katie knew that the doctor wouldn't be in any time shortly, so she began to study the diagrams on the wall. She began to wonder if she could really go through with this – being a mother and going to school. She only had a few more months of school left, but she would also be due around the same time school was over – if not before. She stared up at the ceiling, her thoughts racing.

The doctor came into the room and cut to the chase. "Katherine Knight? I presume you're here for an abortion?"

Katie nodded slowly, her voice cracking. "Yes,"

The doctor nodded slightly. "Would you like to see the baby first?"

Katie rapidly shook her head. "No."

_You're not alone girl  
Look over your shoulder  
You don't have to wonder  
Because you know  
You're not alone Girl  
Look over your shoulder  
You don't have to wonder  
You know, you know, you know  
You're not alone girl  
I'll be there to hold you  
I'll stay till it's over  
And you know, you know, you know  
You're not alone_

_You're not alone  
You're not alone  
You're not alone  
You're not alone  
You're not alone_

James voice cracked when he got to his lyric portion of the song, his fear growing more and more evident. He closed his eyes and finished the song, thinking of Katie the entire time. "_Bet you didn't notice, the first time your heart was broken, you called me up and we talked till the morning…_"

When the song was finished, he dropped the microphone and ran off the stage, shoving passed reporters. He didn't bother to stay and make sure that everything was okay. He didn't bother to stay and wait for the end. He began running as fast as he could.

James arrived outside the office building that Camille told him Katie was at. He looked up at the name on the door and his heart nearly stopped. _No. _Panic clutched at his heart. _She wouldn't_. He entered the office and looked around. She wasn't there, but her car was in the parking lot. Where would she be? He ran to the office, short of breath, and began speaking quickly. "I need to see Katie Knight."

"I'm sorry." The nurse replied. "She's already in her appointment."

He shook his head. "You don't understand, I need to see her." He began again, a bit slower this time. "Please let me back there."

The nurse shook her head again. "I'm sorry, I can't. It's personal. This is her decision."

James began to tremble with rage. "I'm the _father _of her baby!" He shouted.

"It doesn't matter. Once that door locks, no one can get in but the doctor." The nurse replied, her voice a low growl. She dealt with people like this all the time; James was nothing new. "I can't let you back there."

James waited until one of the doctors came from the room and shoved passed him. He ran through the halls, his feet dragging him places he didn't want to go. He didn't know where he was going. He didn't know what was going to happen. He was almost terrified to see what would meet him on the other side. What room was she in?

He froze when he saw security running towards him. He didn't have much time. Stopping outside the door briefly, he saw Katie sitting with her knees drawn up to her chest. He shoved the door open and stared at her, panting to catch his breath. "Why is it always a chase and an argument with you?" He growled. "Why couldn't you just listen?"

She looked up at him with puffy eyes, her voice broken when she began to cry again. She couldn't stand to look at him. She'd made her decision.

Security burst through the doors and grabbed him by the wrist. He shoved them away and took a step forward. "Katie, don't do this."

"I already made my decision," She whimpered softly. "I'm sorry for not including you."

He could swear that if his heart could break, it just had. His breath caught, he couldn't see much passed the haze of tears. "Katie…" He tried to wriggle away from the security guard that grabbed his arm, but they tasered him until he fell to his knees. "Katie, I love you. I'm here for you. I'm not going anywhere. Even they couldn't stop me." He closed his eyes, his head bowing in shame. "I'm sorry I wasn't fast enough. I'm sorry I felt like our child deserved a chance. I'm sorry that you didn't love me enough to include me in your decision. But most of all, I'm sorry I wasn't a good enough reason to keep you from doing it."

As security dragged him down the hall, he fell limp in the man's arms, defeated. He wasn't going to fight them; he got his answer. He didn't hear her whispered words as he left the room. He didn't hear her say she was sorry.

* * *

At least a month passed before James arrived back home. Katie was locked in her bedroom, where she'd been hiding out since the day at the clinic. Jennifer didn't speak or look at James when he came into the apartment. The rest of the group barely recognized him. He looked away. "I need to see Katie."

"James, the answer is going to be the same as the first fifty-seven times you called. She doesn't want to talk to you right now." Kendall answered slowly. He tried to sound calm, but his rage was pretty evident. "She doesn't want to talk to you, James. I'm sorry."

Jennifer looked at him from the kitchen, shaking her head. "Katie is fine, if it's any consolation. Had you waited around a while longer, I'm sure you would have known."

"I don't care if she's fine. I know _she's _fine. I _saw her_." He growled, obviously a little bit drunk. "I need to talk to her."

"You're not allowed," Kendall answered. "James, I'm sorry. I can't let you see my baby sister. She's not happy with you right now. Right now, honestly, none of us are. Where have you been for the last month?"

"Home." He answered simply.

Jennifer looked at him, shaking her head. "_This _is your home. Where did you go?"

"To visit my dad in prison," He replied bitterly. "Because seeing him was the only thing worse than what Katie did."

Kendall froze and looked at James, his eyes widening. "What Katie did?" He turned to his mother. "Mom, what did Katie do?"

"You're mad at _me _and you don't even know what she _did_?" James screamed in defeat. "What is _wrong _with you people?"

Katie stood at the 'balcony' to her room and watched James. He didn't see her; he didn't see the tiny item she was carrying. He didn't see her shirt barely fit, or that her jeans were a little tighter than usual. He didn't see her puffy eyes.

She came down the steps and stopped beside Kendall, looking at James. Kendall went to reach an arm out so James couldn't touch her, but Katie pushed him away. "It's okay," She whispered, more for her reassurance than anything. She handed James the picture and looked down at her feet. "I thought you'd want to see her."

"Katie I-"

"I know, you're sorry for the way you acted." She answered slowly, looking up at him, brown eyes searching for answers. "I don't hate you for the way you acted. You're the reason I stopped the doctor."

"What?" He whispered voice low. "You…you didn't?"

"No," She answered. "I didn't. And had you waited, you would have known. You called me, James. I got a voicemail from you after I went into the office. I heard you talking to Logan during your song." She looked to Logan and smiled. "He told me what happened, and I'm sorry I made you worry. You shouldn't have had to. I couldn't do it. I couldn't do that to you or Bridget. Don't feel like it was your fault I want in there. I was being selfish. I wanted my old life back. Mom actually pointed out that I didn't have much of a life." She looked down sadly. "Though I do have to go to school looking like this – it doesn't matter to me. How many people can say they're carrying the child of James Diamond?" She laughed softly, but it was cut off by him planting his lips against hers. She wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed back.

"Thank you," He whispered softly after pulling away. "Thank you for a thousand reasons to keep fighting."

"A thousand? I only gave you two." Katie laughed a little.

James gently rested both his hands on her slightly larger stomach and smiled, kissing her forehead. The image of the sonogram stuck out between his fingers. "You gave me a thousand," He mumbled showing her the picture. "I love you, Katie. I don't want to spend the rest of my life wondering or questioning your motives. Please be more honest with me."

"I was going to wait until the concert was over," She answered sadly. "I was going to call and surprise you with a picture…but since you didn't come home, I couldn't even do that."

"I won't run away again, I swear. I want to be here with you for every single step, every single doubt, every worry, every tear, diaper, shoe, word, song, everything." He pulled her closer by her belt loops. "Everything, Katie."

"Even the morning sickness?" She asked ironically.

He smiled and wrapped his arms possessively around her. "Even the morning sickness." He merely blinked when she threw up on his shoes. "I deserved that."

* * *

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	3. Crying

**Crying**

James could hear the soft whimpers from Katie in the night.

Jennifer assumed that since she was already pregnant, there was no reason they couldn't live together. So Katie had moved into James' apartment just a few doors over from theirs.

He had his arms wrapped protectively about her body, holding her close, his head buried against the back of her neck. She whimpered in her sleep. He couldn't tell if it was nightmares or if she was in pain. He didn't want to wake her. She didn't seem to be in pain. Though a few times, her hands had covered his over her stomach. But otherwise, there was no true indication of what was wrong.

He closed his eyes and bit his lip. She was hurting and he couldn't help her. "Katie," He softly whispered in the moonlight night, a small sliver of light shining across the bed so he could see her eyes perfectly if she opened them. "What's wrong, baby?"

She had apparently been awake for some time now. She turned her tiny body so she was facing him, her head resting against his chest. "It hurts, James."

His mind pondered all the possible things that could be wrong. What hurt? Her head? Her tummy? Her throat? He reached up to brush her hair back and smiled a gentle smile. "What hurts, Katie?"

She touched a hand gingerly to her stomach, afraid to press on it for fear of making it worse. "My stomach."

"Is it your stomach or the baby?" He questioned, trying to remain calm, though fear was soaking into his skin and causing him to lose control. "You went to school today, right? Are those girls still picking on you?"

Katie nodded, touching a hand to his to calm his trembling. "James, it's the baby. Something is wrong."

He sat up straight and looked to her with dark brown eyes. "How do you know?"

She reached down to touch the blood that was pooling at her feet, holding up her hand to show him. He hadn't noticed. He felt awful. "Katie…" With quiet calmness, he helped her to dress, even though she was feeling incredibly weak. He brushed her hair softly and kissed her cheek. "It's going to be fine. We'll get you to a doctor."

"She died." Katie whispered her voice terribly low. "We lost her. Our baby. She's gone."

Depression hit her harder than ever before, he started to worry now. "Katie, its fine. She's okay. This happens." Though he was more trying to reassure himself than her, he swept her up into a bridal carry and brought her down to the car. After buckling her in and kissing her lips, he started the engine.

* * *

The ride to the hospital was a silent one. They didn't do much speaking the entire trip. Katie was trembling in the seat, even though he had his hand resting on hers. She would look at him every so often with soft brown eyes full of tears. His heart broke each time he saw her look that way.

Even as he brought her into the hospital, checked her in, and had her up in maternity, his heart kept racing. The doctor was quick to come into the room. He looked between the two young couple, and smiled a slight smile. "We'll get you looked at, Catherine."

Katie didn't speak. Her world was so dull and quiet. She stared at James with dark eyes. "We lost her."

"Don't be so sure," the doctor exclaimed. "I hear the Knight family is known for their fighters."

James nodded and kissed Katie's hair. "They are. Momma Knight told me so."

Katie offered a tiny smile and lifted her shirt slightly so the doctor could rub the lotion on. She flinched at how cold it was. James quietly watched as the doctor did what he had to do. There was an odd silence overwhelming the room. Even as the doctor waved the wand around, listening for a heartbeat, James knew he was wrong. She didn't make it. There was a small fetus appearing on the black and white image, but there was no heartbeat.

Katie's world stopped spinning. She began to whimper softly before breaking down into hysterical sobs. James felt worse; this was his first time seeing the baby. He felt terrible, and didn't know what to do. The doctor printed the image anyway, just so they could have time to grieve, and left the room. James wrapped his arms tightly around Katie's slender body and buried his head against her neck. "I'm so sorry, James."

"Don't be sorry," He whispered, kissing her softly on the forehead. "It's not your fault."

"If I wasn't so skinny—"

"Its fine," He grumbled, not wanting to think about it much. "It's fine. It's going to be okay. Now wasn't the time for us to bring a baby into the world. You're still in high school, after all."

She looked down at her stomach, still protectively wrapping her arms around her body. "I know. But I wanted this. I wanted to meet little Landon."

"You're so young, Katie." He whispered, brushing her hair back. And as they sat crying helplessly, James knew in his heart he was right about this.

* * *

Katie reluctantly went to school that next day, acting as if it never happened. No one in school was aware of her pregnancy. Not even the girls teasing her. They just hated her for not being as pretty as them. She didn't eat breakfast that morning, probably because she was still upset about the night before. When James told Jennifer, the woman gently rubbed her daughter's back in reassurance. Katie broke down sobbing again. Jennifer helplessly brought her daughter to school, reluctant to leave her there.

Katie started down the hall when she heard a girl running behind her. There was a hard shove before she fell to her knees on the floor. "Woops! Sorry, _Katie_. How's the baby today?"

Katie bit her lip, fighting back the oncoming tears. Being pregnant had messed with her head pretty bad. She didn't answer.

The girl, angry that Katie hadn't answered, kicked her in the chest. "You're so stupid."

"I hate you." Katie whispered.

The girl took a few steps closer to Katie and knelt down beside her. "What did you say?"

"I said I hate you."

She stood slowly and looked at Katie, shaking her head. "You used to be so tough, little girl. What happened?"

Katie didn't oblige her with an answer. Instead, she stood, shakily to her feet, and continued down the hall. She suddenly felt very sick. The girl followed her, glaring.

"What's the matter? Too ashamed to bother with me? I'll take you on, Katie. Don't think I won't!"

Katie turned, holding her stomach. "Listen. Now isn't a good time."

"Scaredy cat."

Moments passed with challenging glares before Katie threw up all over the floor. The girl teasing her shrieked and ran way. Katie was left staring at the mess, before running away embarrassed.

* * *

James picked up Katie halfway through the day. She couldn't even eat her lunch without getting sick. Concerned for her health, he checked for a temperature. She flicked his hand away. "Take me to the drug store; I think I have a cold."

He looked at her curiously. "A cold? It's not that chilly out."

"Just go!"

He nodded hesitantly and drove her to the drug store. She ran into the store and returned with a bag full of pregnancy tests. Staring at her curiously, he wondered what she was doing. "Katie, you heard the doctor. She didn't make it."

"I'm going to try anyway."

James paused and took her hand while she was ripping open a box. "Katie."

"No! I don't want to believe she's gone!" Katie screamed. "I don't want to lose her! I'm going to lose you, too if I lose her!"

James put the car in park and tugged the box gently from her hands, throwing it in the back seat. "Katie. She's gone. There are other times. Now isn't right for you."

"You just wanted to get out of your responsibility as a father!" Katie screamed, clearly irrational. She rubbed the tears from her eyes and folded her arms over her chest. "Take me home."

"Fine."

"_My _home." She grumbled.

Although James was hesitant to drop her off at home, he did as she requested. She would be alone for six hours until Jennifer got home from work, and Kendall was home from hockey practice. He didn't want her being alone that long. She grabbed the bag and went inside, locking the door.

* * *

Throwing himself backwards onto his bed, he stared up at the ceiling with tears in his eyes. He didn't want to lose her any more than she did. His heart was racing. Maybe Katie was onto something. He looked away for a moment, seeing that his phone was flashing. Katie's name was on the id. He picked it up and listened to her. "What's wrong?"

With a shaky voice, Katie spoke quietly. "They were all negative."

"But you still have pregnancy symptoms!"

"Mom says that will happen until my body regulates itself again." Katie broke down again, hiccupping. "We lost her. She's not coming back. I'm so sorry I couldn't keep her alive for you."

James began to protest but Katie had hung up. He called back at least fifteen times, only to get her voicemail each time. Although he wanted to race to her house, he knew she wouldn't want to see him right now. Jennifer suggested giving her a few weeks to calm down.

He'd give her a few weeks.

* * *

James went to Jennifer's apartment almost a month later. He tapped hesitantly on the door. The mother answered it, but instead of saying anything, yanked him inside. She threw the baggie at him and waited for him to realize what it was. When his eyes lit up, Jennifer knew he'd caught on.

"This is…"

"…a pregnancy test." Jennifer commented quietly. "Katie took it this morning before going to school. I guess she was so tired she forgot it there. James. I knew it wasn't a coincidence she was still having symptoms!"

James wanted to cry. He looked at the long white stick and remembered when Katie first told him. "She doesn't know?"

"No! Someone has to tell her." Jennifer whispered desperately. "She's four months pregnant, James. She needs to know."

"Shouldn't she be feeling movement by now?" James asked, blushing lightly. "I read the book."

"You read the book!" Jennifer exclaimed hugging him. "Pick her up from school. Tell her. Come on, it has to be you."

He nodded and pocketed the stick, smiling at Jennifer. "Thank you."

The elder woman nodded. "You're welcome."

* * *

After checking in and being told to wait in the office for them to call her, James sat in a chair and looked up at the ceiling. They paged her at least three times in the last twenty minutes, but she hadn't come. Starting to worry something was wrong, he stood to go ask. It was then that he heard a commotion in the hallway.

Two girls were standing in the middle of the hall, the other one obscured by the wall to the left. Though he couldn't see a face, he knew that voice all too well. Katie was standing up for herself. At first, he thought the fight was just verbal. That was until Katie took a step forward and one of the girls shoved her to the ground.

"Louise! I bet that hurt." Shrieked the red headed girl on the left.

The blonde on the right smirked. "I know, Alexandria. I bet it did. When will you learn not to pretend you're dating a famous person?"

That's when Katie suddenly realized why they hated her. It was because of James. She stood hesitantly to her feet, only to be knocked down again.

Having had enough, James ran over and stood between them. He held a hand out to Katie, helping her to her feet. "You have a problem with my Katie?" He questioned, holding his arms out so she could come closer for a hug. "Because I'll gladly fight both of you if I must. I graduated at least four years ago, but it's cool. I'll get suspended for her."

"Oh my God, it's true!" Louise shrieked. "No way!"

Katie broke free from James' grasp and glared at the girls. Alex shoved her into a locker, causing a painful thud to reverberate through the hall. James growled at the girls. "Stop that!" He ran to Katie's side and helped her up again.

"Why? Because you're afraid I might damage her little ego?" Alex mocked.

As he stood to his feet, the test fell from his pocket and stayed on the floor. Katie saw it first, the shock resigning on her features. The two girls must have seen it as well, since they looked to Katie with a dark expression. "She's pregnant, you twits!" James screamed. His words echoed through the halls. It suddenly got very awkward.

"James, I don't feel so well." Katie whispered. "Can we go now?"

He nodded and turned to the girls again. "If I find out you hurt her again, I'm going to be back. And I'm going to bring reinforcements."

Rolling her eyes, Louise walked away, dragging the other girl with her.

When they got to the car, James knelt down beside her open door, lifting her shirt to see the bruises and marks the girls left behind. There were bruises all along the side of her body, several the shapes of fists. He was surprised the baby even survived such brutal beatings. He stared at Katie and closed his eyes. "I'm so sorry."

She looked away. "It's okay, I can take the beating."

"It's not okay," James whispered. "The baby can't take that kind of beating. I was supposed to come here and tell you, so you'd be excited. Even your doctor called me to verify it. Katie, you were carrying twins." He looked down. "It's fine if you're not happy. I am. And I'll take you out of this school of I have to. I'll find any reason I can to transfer you nearby. I don't want you getting hurt. I don't want to endure the sadness of losing the baby again."

"It means that lot to you?" Katie whispered against his chest, her eyes closed.

He nodded and kissed her hair. "You mean everything to me. She means a lot."

Katie looked up at him with a smirk. "Kick their asses."


End file.
